Heisenberg is speeding down the highway in his dull-green Pontiac Aztek when a cop pulls him over. The cop walks up to his car and says, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg responds, "No ... but I know EXACTLY where I am!"
Okay, so maybe you don't get the joke, yet (you will in a minute). In fact, you might Read more [...] 
I don't quite remember the year; the poignancy of the memory overpowers any sense I have of my exact age, or even grade, at the time. I was driving my parents' Volvo down 114 towards Newport. My two closest friends, Spike and David, were in the car with me. David had just put in a CD of some band he was getting into that I had never heard of, with 
Forrester advises, “No thinking - that comes later. You must write your first draft with your heart. You rewrite with your head. The first key to writing is... to write, not to think!” Sound advice, it would seem. That it is sound, is terrifying. What if I get to the end, only to realize it’s not the story I wanted to write? 
We've made it through 12 months. The fact that we've made it this long and are still writing is one thing, but the fact that we've posted something in all 12 of those months gives us a profound sense of pride. It's a cause for celebration, bitches. 
There once was a cactus named Spike.
Spike was born in a magical kingdom known as upstate New York, to a mother and father cactus that both loved him very much.
At age 5, Spike was sent to Kindergarten. While he missed his parents, he was ready for the real world. Spike met lots of new friends, and spent his days coloring and learning his 
Fair warning: most of the video clips posted below are not safe for work, and many are mind-boggingly stupid as well. Seriously, don't watch them if there is anybody nearby who you want to respect you as a human being.
"After an African dinosaur ancestor of the crocodile is found, Dr. Campbell uses its DNA to create prototypes at Paula Kennedy's 
In 1987, KFC opened its first outlet in China, a chicken nugget's throw away from Chairman Mao's mausoleum in the middle of Tiananmen Square. Now, 25 years later, KFC is the premier fast food chain in the country, generating almost $2 billion in annual profit (for reference, that is more than is made by all of the KFCs, Taco Bells, Pizza Huts, 
About one month ago, Curiosity, a robotic rover designed and operated by NASA, landed on the surface of Mars, some 350 million miles from Earth. A live broadcast of the landing was displayed in Time's Square, and NASA's website was temporarily shut down due to high traffic. Around 45,000 people subscribed to the Twitter account of Curiosity's flight 
An old saying is that “Rules are meant to be broken,” but that’s really not the case. Whatever the particular motivation behind any given rule may be, though, the rationale is never that the rule gets broken. Despite that fact, rules are frequently broken, and today, for a certain class of third graders, one particular rule was about to be just that. Broken. 
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote this blogcat, which acts as a sort of a preface to this column. If you have not yet read it, I recommend you do so. In brief, it discusses some cultural and literary allusions to cigarettes and cigarette smoking. The purpose of this essay is to extend my ruminations on the subject towards a logical conclusion. The -
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